Your soulmate may vary

Not a soul you’d want to mate with, to say the least.

I am not known for my unreflected obedience, so it should surprise no one that I disobeyed Bill Harris, director of Centerpointe Research Institute. When he sent me an email titled “Attract your true spiritual soulmate (single women only)”, I knew I was not supposed to peek. I mean, that is kind of like peeking in a woman’s purse, or something. But on the other hand, I thought to myself, I don’t want risking to be  attracted by a true spiritual soulmate without the knowledge to defend myself. So read it I did.

Since it turned out not to be particularly useful for me, I may as well pass on the moderately good news: Evidently there is a website named “Calling in the One“, teaching spiritual women how to become magnetic to their soul mate. I don’t particularly mind, as long as said soul mate is not me. The compass needle of my heart is already wobbly enough without spiritual women co-creating trouble along with the Universe. I would rather it point straight toward Heaven, into the Light, rather than spinning around a woman. No offense.

I have a few words to add, though, with a little help from an ever helpful voice in my heart.

Your soul mate is similar to you. Not a mirror image, but on a similar spiritual level. That means, dear single person, that if you suck, so does your soul mate. You better look extremely objectively at yourself, because we can assume that so does the universe.  (Unless your universe exists only in your head, in which case you are pretty much on the losing end of romance anyway.)


The American concept of “soul mate” seems to be derived largely from Judaism, where it is believed that singles are only half humans, needing another half to complete them, and that this half has already been decided in Heaven. I am not sure how Judaism usually arranges marriages these days, I assume the fathers don’t make a contract about it when the kids are small as was the rule pretty much everywhere in the past. But whoever makes the decision, it is a frightful responsibility.

In contrast, the Japanese new religion Happy Science (and possibly other sects of Buddhism, I am not sure) use the phrase “soul mate” in a quite different way, more similar to “class mate”.  There are supposedly 20-30 soul mates of you incarnate during your lifetime. They make up most of your family (usually, but it is possible to have other parents for some special purpose). They are your best friends, and your rival that seems to block your path at every turn.  When you meet a stranger and they feel as close as family, it is one of your soul mates, with whom you have spent many past lives and many centuries in Heaven, agreeing to meet again when you both did duty in the flesh again.

In this worldview it is not a huge disaster if you marry the wrong soul mate. Perhaps your spouse and you agreed beforehand to get together for the purpose of bringing into the world a child or two who needed just these two parents.  Or perhaps your spouse had certain qualities that were important to you at that time of your life, but over time you forgot those qualities and why you thought it was a good idea to marry just that person.

To be honest, I think Happy Science is more in tune with contemporary Americans than Judaism or traditional Christianity.  Happy Science basically says “People make mistakes, learn from them and make progress.”  Traditional religion says something like “People make mistakes, you’ll be free from them when you go to Heaven.” People today aren’t usually that patient.

In any case, the sad truth is that there are very few Ones. But if you are a Half and your soul mate is also a Half, then you may just end up being One together. You should not hope for much more than that.


Me, I am not a half, so I don’t fit into that equation. But I may be one of the other type of soul mate, your soul’s class mate during this lifelong education. (And quite possibly beyond.) Perhaps we can help each other with the difficult lessons.

And you said to me: “Who will open up my eyes,
To the wonder and the glory, and the stars in the sky?”
And you said to me: “For this road I’m travelling on
I need someone beside me forever. Who?”
And I said, “It’s me, and I’m ready to go,
ready to show
That I’ll never let you down.
And I want you to know, that this power will grow,
Every day, every beat of my heart,
Forever, forever…”

Yes, I quoted that song back in 2002 when I first bought it. And again in 2004, although that was more playfully. I still remember how I felt back in 2002. And you know what I feel now? That this power has grown, far beyond what I could imagine back then.

Whether I am still here when you read this or not, it matters not.  Even if no one praises me or notices me, I will strive to grow in brightness.  I don’t need to be loved (except by the Light), I don’t even need to be needed anymore. I only need for this Brightness to keep flowing into me, until my soul burns like a portal to a world of light. And then we can go into that light, home.

I wonder if that will really happen. I wonder if I will reach my aspiration. Probably not, given how limited I actually am. I would probably need to live till I am 120 or something, and I don’t even know whether I’ll be here next year. But I am glad I even got to see into this Promised Land.

Your soul mate may vary. As may you.