{"id":571,"date":"2009-06-04T23:59:28","date_gmt":"2009-06-04T22:59:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/?p=571"},"modified":"2009-06-05T00:29:49","modified_gmt":"2009-06-04T23:29:49","slug":"demons-inside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/2009\/06\/04\/demons-inside\/","title":{"rendered":"Demons inside"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"di090604\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This is not a broken mirror, although it is heading that way. It is certainly not working as intended. \u00c2\u00a0Seeing someone else in the mirror is usually a sign that things are pretty bad. But sometimes you only fail to see yourself.<\/em><\/p>\n

I woke up this morning (which is a good thing) and what’s more, I woke up to the clock radio (another good thing, as it had somehow failed to wake me yesterday, as the volume was mysteriously turned down to zero, causing me to come a bit late to the course where we learned to use our new software tool. \u00c2\u00a0I caught up though.) \u00c2\u00a0The song they were playing was certainly suited to wake me up as well. Even not knowing who was singing (Anne Grete Preus turns out to be fairly famous here) I knew this was a work of the Adversary, that is to say, the spiritual current that takes me farther from my goal. \u00c2\u00a0Your goal may vary.<\/p>\n

The song was plain and had the more impact for it. \u00c2\u00a0I shall simply translate it into plain English as well. \u00c2\u00a0(Norwegian readers should be able to locate the lyrics by searching for the word “sp\u00c3\u00b8kelsesh\u00c3\u00a6r” \u00c2\u00a0(army of ghosts), which is uncommon in our language. )<\/p>\n

A song about when you see yourself in broken mirrors
\nAnd dig up the terrain when the map is wrong
\nWhen the world goes against you
\nis anyway
\nno one as hard-working as
\nthe demons inside oneself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let’s pause there. \u00c2\u00a0So far it is disturbingly true. Of course, there are more than one type of demons, we’ll come back to that soon. \u00c2\u00a0But the blatant demons that make life hard for even those who don’t believe in demons, they are more reasonably described as “mind parasites”. \u00c2\u00a0I picked up that phrase from Robert W. Godwin, not sure if he made it himself. \u00c2\u00a0Jung called them complexes. In computing, we actually use the word “daemon” about independent processes that mind some limited task on their own, like fetching or delivering mail. \u00c2\u00a0In essence, these are parts of our psyche that don’t answer to the conscious I. \u00c2\u00a0They do what they bloody well want, either to help or to hinder or simply ignoring their host as they pursue their own agenda. \u00c2\u00a0At worst, they seem to take a perverse pleasure in making life miserable.<\/p>\n

To no small extent, these mind parasites are downloaded from one’s parents or other family members during early childhood, which explains why they are so resistant to logic: They were ingrained before we had even a coherent view of the physical world, much less abstractions like logic. It is certainly possible to acquire, cultivate and even create mind parasites later in life as well, but the early ones tend to be the most powerful, and often there are early events that carry the seed for later ones. \u00c2\u00a0For instance, our very early exploration of sexual and erotic nature may not be very positive, but this is unlikely to become much of an issue until puberty, at which point it may get magnified to disastrous proportions. \u00c2\u00a0Also our relationship with food may take years or decades to reach its full magnitude, and yet in the end may maim or kill us.<\/p>\n

No opposition from outside is likely to reach quite the level of tormenting power that a complex or mind parasite has, lodged in the very psyche like some kind of festering infection.<\/p>\n

I don’t want to see you there anymore
\nYou fight with shadows and an army of ghosts
\nFor you are good enough
\nmore than good enough
\nGood enough
\nas you are.<\/em><\/p>\n

I’m not usually tormented by the voices in my head. \u00c2\u00a0There is some reasonable paranoia (reasonable in the context of having spent all my adult life in a job which would strongly motivate some small part of the populace to attack me on sight if they knew, or at least make my life unpleasant in whatever way they could get away with). \u00c2\u00a0But for the most part, I lead a rather paradisical life. \u00c2\u00a0But that is not really my goal. \u00c2\u00a0Well, in theory it is not. \u00c2\u00a0In practice, it is very hard to break out of paradise upward. \u00c2\u00a0Which is why most of those who have escaped it and continued their spiritual journey, have done so by being forcibly evicted from paradise. \u00c2\u00a0Illness, economic ruin, the death of a loved one, or some other calamity. \u00c2\u00a0I would rather not incite fate that badly, of course.<\/p>\n

The Adversary, as I mentioned above, the countercurrent that contradicts the cosmic love, will happily keep the tormented in torment for as long as they live. \u00c2\u00a0But failing that, it will work just as hard to keep the oblvious in oblivion. \u00c2\u00a0And so for those of us who were comparatively blessed in terms of upbringing and temperament, or who have by grace or serendipity been able to reach a safer haven… for us, the voices in our head whisper still. \u00c2\u00a0Now they whisper: \u00c2\u00a0“You are good enough, more than good enough, as you are.”<\/p>\n

For those of you still steeped in the Christian lore, you may remember the pharisees and scribes of that time. \u00c2\u00a0There are people like that today as well, but more disturbing, there is an inner pharisee lying in wait for any of us should we come so far as to become distinct from ‘tax collectors and “sinners”.’ \u00c2\u00a0You don’t even have to be actually religious, although it doesn’t hurt unfortunately. \u00c2\u00a0Once you are no longer reminded by your conscience (or the police and creditors), once you can take a breather with the burning Sodom safely hidden beyond the hills, the voice is waiting for you. \u00c2\u00a0To tell you that you are better than the rest, that you deserve to be treated with respect and enjoy privileges. \u00c2\u00a0And above all, that there is no need to press onward. \u00c2\u00a0You are good enough, more than good enough, the way you are.<\/p>\n

In closely related news, I bought Sims 3 today. \u00c2\u00a0Full report later. Perhaps. \u00c2\u00a0If I manage to break out from the paradise that playing the new game is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A song about two kinds of demons. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-human-mind"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":581,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions\/581"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.chaosnode.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}