Loving bread too much

My current definition of love is “liking so much that you are willing to sacrifice for”. Not perfect, but it covers the range from God to sex, drugs and rock n’roll. The more you love something or someone, the greater the sacrifices you are willing to make.

In the case of me and bread, the sacrifice (beyond the small expense) tends to be gut pain and having to stay within running distance from the bathroom for a while.

I don’t have gluten allergy: Pasta and wheat noodles are part of my near daily diet. I think what happens is that my digestion becomes upset when there is a large, sudden change in diet. The helpful gut bacteria have adapted to the usual food, and suddenly there is something else instead, so they leave in protest.

And modern bread is so good, it is hard to not go all out when I have it in house. Seriously, what happened to bread? It used to be boring, the same plain slice day after day, year after year. Now there are three or even five types of grain in a single bread, and often sesame, sunflower or flax seeds as well. Despite this complex recipe, the firmness and texture is nearly perfect, and stays that way for several days. Behold the great power of science! And not just behold it, I can actually taste it.

So it is all too easy to eat bread four times a day, and plenty of it. I suppose if I kept doing that, my body would get used to it. But then I might forget how good it really is. Now it is like food honeymoon each time…

Best before January 2008

My adventures in dried foods continue. Today I went through my cupboard and found some powder that was supposed to expand into “tomato sausage pot”. The sausage was not mandatory, you could also make a vegetarian version, so of course I did that.

The first thing I noticed when I loaded the dish onto my plate, was the disgusting gray brown color. Now, I don’t want to be judged by my color, so I decided to also give the dish the benefit of doubt. Perhaps it’s just didn’t use artificial colors?

Unfortunately, it did not really taste like human food, or at least not completely. I’m not sure exactly what it tasted like, but I gave up after a few forkfuls. I am sure many starving children in Africa would have appreciated this food, and I like to think that they would also survive it. Especially since I like to think that I will survive it myself. But I quickly concluded that it would be safer to stop, just in case. So I threw away the rest.

I was about to write a warning against the product on my Norwegian-language blog (since this is a product sold exclusively in Norway, as far as I know). But before I came that far, the ever helpful voices in my head (still not literal voices, but “the thoughts in my head” makes it sound like it was my thoughts) told me to go check the packaging. And sure enough: “Best before January 2008”.

The list of contents shows mainly dried vegetable matter, so I am not sure exactly what kind of processes have been at work in the intervening years to transform it into the sludge I found on my plate. But I guess I’m not going to cook any of the stuff I bought before 2005…