That’s pretty much the result I am aiming for. Bright, warm happiness. ^_^

I just got an e-mail from the Office of Letters and Light. Despite the pretentious name, it is actually the organization (such as it is) behind the NaNoWriMo movement – the National Novel Writing Month. More about that later, Light willing. Probably a lot more.

From my experience with the NaNoWriMo stampede, there is rather more letters than light, in the sense that many people write rather dark novels. I guess that is an expression of their soul or something – most are young and the majority seems to be girls. Youth is not an easy time for most people these days (and some never recover) and girls don’t have as many opportunities to act out their internal tragedy. So I am understanding if their novel ends with the world exploding or at least the main characters all dying. But that is not what I personally think of as “Letters and Light”!

When we are young, we are usually in the shadow of other souls that have dominated us: Parents, obviously (mostly mothers, these days, at least in Scandinavia), but also teachers and leader personalities in school or in one’s flock of friends. Few have the strength when young to stand up in this massive onslaught of informal authorities, to rise up and say “I must follow my own heart, I must walk in the Light that shines inside my soul.” This did not happen to me until I was around the age of 16.

Each person has his or her own soul and destiny. But when you are young, your destiny has not yet unfolded. Others are responsible for you. But subconsciously you know that the life you should live is different from what your supervisors imagine for you. (Usually – there are some cases where they align, but this is probably the exception these days.) This difference causes a friction that is perceived as a suffering. They are walking in their own light (which may or may not be Light as we know it) and want you to also walk in their light, but you are walking in their shadow until you become you in earnest. This usually takes quite some time.

For me, on the other hand, who has already lived on my own for over 30 years, I rather prefer to write actual “letters and light”, or luminous prose. I want those who might read me to sense some of the happiness and joy of living. I admit that it can get a bit shallow and fluffy. I am not good at Great Drama. I think people who are in an existential crisis should not read my fiction or even my journal, but rather the Book of Job or some such grand message from Heaven. I hope I am a good influence overall, but I don’t think of myself as the kind of person you would call for when you realize that your final hour on Earth is at hand.

(I have a brother who is that kind of person. There is definitely a difference.)

In Meditations on the Tarot, Unknown Friend has a chapter (the High Priestess) where he treats the levels that the Light has to go through to become a book. (Well, among other things. His chapters are pretty wide-ranging.) Perhaps I should read up on that? Well, I guess my aspirations in book-writing are quite a bit lower than his yet. I really don’t think I am up for writing timeless classics anytime soon. But I hope at least my letters will give off light rather than darkness, by and large. That is certainly my aspiration!