A dream

This morning, somewhere around half past six, I had a dream that made an emotional impact on me.

In my dream, I was my character from City of Heroes, the violet Color of Reverence. However, the dream took place in Daggerfall, the mythical magic-filled land of my first long-time game environment. The inhabitants of the village or small town had become outspoken in their criticism of the Establishment, and the government had sent the guards – the medieval police with extreme prejudice – to teach them a lesson. I caught a couple of them as they were about to kill a defenseless woman and two children (I am somewhat uncertain whether this was my family in the dream or a neighbor). Their activities came to a stop, let us say.

It really bothered me, in my dream, that the government had gone to this length to protect the economic elite of Daggerfall. I woke up with a feeling that this was somehow important, but the feeling itself is gone now.

Fooled by an old trick

Hero?

My main character of the weekend, Color of Reverence. No points for seeing a theme here.

No, I did not bite on a Nigeria scam. It is much more trivial than that, barely noticeable. But I need to learn from small things. Despite my lofty aspirations, I still make mistakes. And as St Teresa says, God preserve us from excusing ourselves with “I am no saint”. (She admits in her Way of Perfection that she used to say that before. Of course, by the time she wrote this, she probably already was a saint…)

Me, I am not a saint (except in the most generic sense, as synonym for God’s people, if even that.) Nor am I a hero, but I play one on the Internet. And that’s where I made my mistake, which I think may be instructive for others too.

I joined the online superhero game City of Heroes during its closed beta, a great honor in my view, and played it probably literally every week for about 7 years. Usually more than once a week too. No exception for vacations (but then I don’t actually travel during my vacations, I write). It is only the last year or perhaps even less that the game has begun to gradually fade from my life, like so many other things do eventually.

It is a good game, too. I don’t mean just in value of production, but in production of value. You take on the role of a hero with slightly superhuman powers, and defeat criminals, protect the innocent (and sometimes the not quite innocent, when they need it) and gradually grow more powerful and famous over the course of this practice. So it kind of reinforces traditional values.  In the words of one of the scripted bystanders on the streets of Paragon City: “Forget those postmodernist deconstructionists! Itland is a real hero, plain and simple.” OK, the “simple” part may not be my favorite, but still.

Now as my life is moving toward its final exam (not that I am in the least hurry!!), I find a little less time for gaming than I used to. And that means my visits to City of Heroes have been quite irregular and mostly short. This suits me: When I play the same game for too long, I become kind of immersed in it and it begins to invade my real life with flashback moments and such distractions. And generally a feeling of emptiness after hours of playing. I don’t want that to happen.

But this weekend was double XP weekend, in which the rewards of virtue are doubled – both the experience points and the influence. So this makes it easy to make rapid progress on a character. I took advantage of this and played a lot this weekend.

I did not ask myself seriously why I would want to make rapid progress in a game I now only play sporadically. It is not like I actually need to do that. The fact that there was a reward took precedence over the fact that I did not need the reward.

This is really the same motivation that makes a lot of women go wild when there are sales. If things are on sale, they temporarily forget that they don’t actually need (and perhaps not even want) the thing. “But it was on sale!”

A voice in my head says something similar exists for sexual temptations. Perhaps it is a general human trait. Certainly it combines with greed to make a good scam. The typical Nigeria scam is based on the notion that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Once you start getting one each week, they are a lot less tempting. ^_^

So I ask my heart to learn from this mistake, although it would have been better to learn without mistake. At least you can learn from mine!

You forgot the technology

Staring at cell phones

Seriously? Just how far have cell phones come? A lot further than in the 1970es. But then a lot of things have changed since then.

Economists are none too cheerful about the life of common workers in the USA. The plight of the low-paid wage earners is well known, I think – their work has increasingly been outsourced to other countries, one way or another; and if not, then taken over by new immigrants, some of them illegal. As more and more advanced industry moves to China and elsewhere, the hungry ghost of unemployment nibbles at the toes of even those who used to feel safe.

But salaried workers are not quite as lucky as one may think, either. Adjusted for inflation, they earn approximately the same as two decades ago, but they work longer and harder for it. The standard of living was slowly rising, but largely based on loans and especially mortgage.  In the two decades before that, the family income  was rising for another reason: More women entered into paid work, whereas in the past many married women had stayed at home. This is rare now, and that process is pretty much complete a couple decades ago. Where a man could earn enough to buy a house and feed a family, husband and wife now both work overtime to keep the house – if there is work to find.

Well, it is not always and in all places that bad, but this is the overall trend. While the richest are getting richer, the lower middle class (and not very low either) has to run just to stay in place. Or so it seems, when measured by the standard tools of the economists.

They forgot the technology.

***

I don’t mean the technology at the workplaces. Economists are acutely aware of that. How much productivity has increased because of email, how much is lost to Facebook, stuff like that. This is not what I am talking about.

40 years ago, even if you were filthy rich, you were unlikely to have several million tracks of music. And even if you had such an obsession, you definitely did not bring millions of songs with you in your car. But today, a teenager on the school bus can choose between these millions of tracks while listening to Spotify on his smartphone.

40 years ago, you could not carry hundreds of books with you wherever you went either. And you certainly could not decide that a minute from now you would have bought an uncommon book and begun reading it. Buying a new book required going to the bookstore and pick one from those that were available. If there were other books, you did not know about them, unless you got the help of a librarian or some other scholar. In the case of books that were not broadly popular, it could easily take weeks to procure them. Now, you can do it while waiting for the elevator.

40 years ago, you could not chat with friends on another continent, or call them almost for free, or hang out with them on video chat. International calls were hideously expensive, and of course you had to call at a time when the person was in the house so they could hear the telephone.

The Internet and mobile phones may be the most obvious of the new technologies, but there are many others. I doubt there were pulse watches at all, even for the rich (although we did have digital watches in the 70es, if memory serves). Incandescent light bulbs were the only way to light the house, even during a heat wave, emitting 90% heat and 10% light instead of the opposite.

Medicine has quietly made a lot of progress. This is a good thing, of course: Back then, heart infarcts were common, arrived suddenly, and usually led to death. These days it is more common than not to  spot the warning signs long before an actual lethal infarct, and treat the condition with medication or, if worst comes to worst, surgery. Diabetes can be diagnosed years before it shows symptoms. Several types of cancers can now be treated that could not in the 70es. The downside is that health care costs have exploded. There is some hand-wringing over this, but the main reason for the huge cost is that we can treat rare illnesses that we used to just give up on. It is generally agreed that being rich and dead is not the best possible outcome. Better to be poorer but still alive!

Cars are safer too. Back in my childhood, 40 years ago, safety belts were still fairly new and highly optional. Now, there is a wide range of security measures to prevent collisions and save your life should a collision happen anyway. And by the way, modern cars pollute far less and also use less fuel.

I am sure I could continue this way, but the point is: You may be working more (and maybe you even are not allowed to read this at work) for the same pay, but on the other hand you can perform miracles that were science fiction a generation ago. That is a cause for celebration, surely! Please take a moment to appreciate how lucky we are to be born in the Age of Wonders.

 

My Galaxy Note and I

Pajamas, bed hair (if at all), Galaxy Note. The usual. Oh, and there is the Galaxy Tab recharging in the corner.

Today I tested a new url specifically for tablets at itavisen.no, a Norwegian website. It did not work too well with either my Samsung Galaxy Tab (original) or my Samsung Galaxy Note (the world’s smallest Android tablet – all smaller tablets are to be swallowed).

I have had a problem with the Note since I bought it right before Christmas. (Is it really only a quarter of a year ago?? It feels so much longer.) On my way home, I could not use the browser. I could use it with a wireless network, but not when on 3G. Opera Mini worked fine, but the built-in browser did not, and not Opera Mobile. (Opera Mini is different in that it receives the web pages as pure graphics in compressed form rather than decode the pages on the fly.) Since I had not seen anything about this in the reviews, I assumed it was a Monday machine, as we call them here in Norway. One that had slipped through quality control.

I went back to the shop asking to get another – it was only one day later. But they did not have any more in stock. I would have to send it for repair and wait for it to return. Since Opera Mini does the job in 99.9% of cases, I decided to just keep it.

Today I switched to wireless again to test the tablet website. But something else happened: It told me that there was a firmware upgrade. So I let it download that while I tested, and later install. (It stood a really long time without making visible progress so don’t restart yours if it happen to you.) It did not lose any of my installed apps or any of my settings, and it looks just the same. But the browsers now work on 3G. So that is good.

I had half hoped, when I saw there was a download waiting, that it might be the promised Ice Cream Sandwich – version 4 of Android, which is supposed to run equally well on tablets and phones. Since the Note is both, that seems like a good thing. But the truth is, it works quite excellently as is, and I am not really sure what could be better. The only problem I have with it is that it is small, and that is why I have it in the first place. It goes in my shirt pocket like a big but flat mobile phone, yet it has a screen resolution equal to the desktop PC where I play Sims 2.  Oh, and I have to charge it every day, more or less, but that may have to do with using it a lot.

***

Samsung’s Galaxy Note got mixed reviews when it first came to Norway (for some reason months ahead of the USA). Reviewers raved about the specs, whined about the price, and worried that its awkward size (5.3″) would make it embarrassingly big for a phone and too small for a tablet. All this was true, but it has become a cult hit among Norwegian geeks, who want to have a tablet on their person at all times except in the shower. And except when making love, I assume, if they do that. I don’t. But then the Galaxy Note doesn’t really have a body that invites to it. ^_^

Kind of back. Perhaps.

And again, like a miracle, new life.

I followed the recipe from my webhost, Dreamhost, who were the ones who discovered the hack in the first place and did what they could to clean it out. They could not get at all files though. They advised me rather strongly to follow a procedure for removing the previous installation and installing a new, clean one. I have done so both for this and the Slice of life blogs. After some experimenting, both are back with all the content intact. Sort of.

See, it is no longer possible to comment, or to go to a single post (for instance from the list in the right margin). The posts seem not to be on the server, even though they show up when viewing the blog at its top level / front page.

Even a new post, written after I rebuilt the blog, will appear in the same way. It shows up just fine at the front page, but it cannot be commented on. Which was one of the main benefits of using a blogging platform, I guess. Sorry about that.

EDIT: Found and fixed it. I had to go to the Settings page  “Permalinks” and even though it seemed to remember the chosen format (and indeed it did), I had to save it again. Immediately it sprang back to life.

The extended comment options are currently disabled because these were the only remaining repositories of the infection, in the previous installation. I am not sure if this means some of you will have to register anew. You will not be able to log in using various other popular identities like Google, Facebook etc for the time being. It’s not like I have a crowd here anyway.

Hacked again!

This time it is the Chaos Node that is hacked, not my Google account, which is a relief.  It also looks like they have done nothing to deface my website. They have run some kind of script infecting a huge number of files in my Slice of Life blog. My storage provider, Dreamhost, has cleaned almost all of these. It seems it is a vulnerability in WordPress that has caused this. This is a recurring problem for WordPress, although it is the first time for me. Perhaps I should have continued to hand-code my website after all!

I have changed my password (since some guys in the UK have used it lately, according to Dreamhost) and switched from FTP to SFTP. That is a file transfer protocol where everything is encrypted, although I am not sure whether that will be of any help when WordPress plugins and themes are vulnerable.

 

To incarnate light

This is how I appear in a roleplaying game, but not in real life. I guess that was a bit unrealistic. 

See, this is my longing ideal, my highest aspiration, I guess. To become an incarnation of brightness, to protect the innocent and keep the darkness at bay. But in real life, it is not that easy at all.

In the emergency room, when the second wave of the unidentified illness was rising in my body, when there was nothing I could do and I did not know what was happening, I started to worry. Well, in a way I started to worry before I called the emergency number in the first place, but it was more a kind of caution. They had asked me to call that number if it happened again, after all. But it was only between a quarter and half an hour later, as I was shaking and my heart was racing even while sitting in my outer jacket and a quilt-like thing over that again, that I began to think this might be the end.

I did not want to die. I think that is a fairly reasonable attitude, for someone younger than 80 and without grievous pain or sorrow, at least unless one dies for some great and noble purpose. Blood poisoning, as I suspected at the time, is not a great and noble thing. (I still don’t know what it actually was, and I can speculate on that elsewhere.) But the thing is, this went a bit beyond that reasonable attitude. I began to fear. What next?

If the materialists were right and death was the end of me, I would resent it, but that is pretty much it. I had my rough patches when I grew up and did not understand the Laws of the Mind, but most of my life has been a very good one. Should it end now, and my own joy and pain were the only things to be weighed, I would definitely have pulled the longest straw, as we say around here. He who dies with the most happiness wins, in which case I would at least qualify for honorable mention, I like to think. There has been a lot of singing (albeit severely out of tune) in the last three decades. Long may it last!

But if death was not the end, but rather the beginning, there was more reason to worry, I felt. If I were to be weighed not in the happiness received but in the happiness given, I was not too optimistic about my fate. And if I were to travel through the astral realm on my way from this world, would I be able to pass through it without being held back by claims to my soul? Would attachments snare me and pull me down? Would I fall to the Darkness? As I sat there, shaking with cold and weakness, I did not shine. I was not the one who cold help others, but had to impose on others to help me. I was painfully aware of that.

I tried to be considerate and express my gratitude to the nurse and doctor who hooked me up to various measuring devices. Thinking that this might be my last opportunity to bless others, I tried (without acting too strange). I entered a meditative state in order to calm the shaking of my body, to make their job easier. (Although I did not manage to maintain it while talking.) But I was not shining brightly. I was not a hero. I was just a weak and somewhat scared human. If I were to die there, neither those in this world nor those watching from the other world would find reason to celebrate the way of my transition, that is quite certain.

It is not so easy to be a hero in real life. But for now, I live. Perhaps I shall do so for a long time, or perhaps not. I wish to shine brighter. There are other things I wish as well, like eat delicious prune yogurt. But my highest aspiration, I think, is to shine brightly. To radiate blessing so that people can feel better simply by being around me. That may take its sweet time as things are these days. By my estimate, which may be overly optimistic, I am still two dimensions shy of being what the Japanese call a “nyorai”, an incarnation of compassion.  Someone who radiates blessing, whose mere existence in this world and this age is a blessing to those now alive and those who will come later. There are people like that. But I am far from it yet.

For now, I need to set realistic goals, in so far as it is realistic to set goals when we don’t know the day tomorrow. But even the grandest castle is built stony by stone, and even should it end up just being a small piece of wall made of a few stones, perhaps someday someone will find shelter behind it.

CoH Issue 22: “Death Incarnate”

Issue 22 - Death Incarnate is live!

By all means log in for double XP weekend 16/3 – 18/3, but you should probably stay away from the new content unless you have boundless optimism.

“Death Incarnate.” Not really a name that fits my mood at the moment. And not only the name. Most of the new content in this expansion to City of Heroes is set in a redesigned zone (“Dark Astoria”) which is now actually dark, with a reddish glow, and themed on death and madness.  The in-game lore is that the recent conflicts have wakened an ancient death god from the banished pantheon, who was buried under Dark Astoria. Feelings of guilt, hopelessness, despair and madness emanate to the surface, attracting monsters and villains that enjoy such an ambiance. It is up to the Incarnates – the high level VIP heroes – to try to hold back the darkness and if possible reverse it.

It is a worthy cause, by all means, and I don’t mean that the world’s mightiest heroes should fight kittens in a flowerbed. It’s just that the whole zone and all instances in it is so pervaded by this hellish atmosphere, it really isn’t something just anyone should immerse themselves in for hours each day.

And there is a reason why people my do just that: Dark Astoria is the first and so far only solo Incarnate content. This is a feature I requested almost as soon as I heard about the Incarnate system, which was released near the end of 2010.

City of Heroes had long suffered a reputation for being light on end-game content, compared to other online RPGs. Many players simply parked their level 50 character and made a new, since there are hundreds if not thousands of possible combinations of powers. After the Invention system went live, some people started doing repeatable high-level missions to gather recipes and ingredients for crafting, but it was only with the Incarnate system that a true challenge arrived for high-level heroes and villains.

In the original lore of the game, the arch-hero Statesman and his villain opponent Recluse were the only known Incarnates. They had found the Well of the Furies, and by drinking of it they were imbued with powers comparable to the ancient Greek pantheon.  The event also, as we later learned, unlocked the superpowers latent in scattered individuals around the world, causing this world to branch off from worlds (like ours) without superheroes and supervillains.

In Issue 19, we learn that the Well is actually more of a metaphysical thing. The physical Well of the Furies is gone, but myriad Shards (and later Threads) from it are scattered around the world. Through a special trial, a hero (or villain) can become attuned to the universal Well and begin to randomly find shards when overcoming high-level enemies or completing certain trials. Other rewards related to this also appear, but mainly in trials that are set for large groups of very powerful heroes. Through these, the hero can unlock powerful new abilities. But without taking part in these large-scale trials, the progress was painfully slow and limited to the first of the abilities, the Alpha ability.

With Issue 22, it is possible to unlock and fill all known Incarnate slots through soloing or smaller groups. It is still quite a bit slower than the massive trials, though. And that is why people will have to spend months in this evil twisted zone if they for some reason prefer to go it alone (perhaps because their computers cannot handle massive battles, or they live in a time zone where there are few players).

Or they could just log off and spend their time in prayer and fasting, which would be less depressing.

The Incarnate content up till now has pretty much exclusively been related to the war between Primal Earth and its evil twin, where Statesman has become ruler of the world and is trying to take over the multiverse. So I had expected any solo content to be more of that, more sci-fi. But I guess people who like the whole Lovecraft thing with elder gods, madness and tentacles will appreciate the opportunity. I am not one of those.

Even so, I have run Itland the were-porcupine through a number of missions. It is a little tougher than the usual content, and there is clearly put some serious work into making missions and dialog that fits with the atmosphere. Too bad the atmosphere is one of decay, tentacles and suicides.