Category Archives: slice of life

Quivering at work

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di090330

Kyaaa! Endlessly happy endorphins and hormones course through their minds and bodies, causing them to quiver with pleasure!  And today it was my turn…

“Within 8 minutes you will quiver with pleasure ” says the website.  It sounds like something you would confine to the bedroom, doesn’t it?  Not that I know anything about those realistically vibrating rings or whatever my fellow singles collect.  No. But it is amazing what the mind can do with a little technical assistance pulsing at the right frequency. Or so we have learned from the website. In fact, the bedroom is one recommended location.  I tried that last night before going to sleep, but no quivering ensued. Perhaps because my ultra wide frequency headphones are really big, heavy and lumpy to wear in bed.

LifeFlow did make me quiver with pleasure at work today, though. Although I am not sure how much came from the isochronic tones and how much came from reading the outrageous deadpan parody of Bill Harris at their forum.

You can say what you will about Bill Harris, and a lot of people do just that, since he is rich and famous and they are not.  But one thing he does right is to pile on with information.  Actually the scientific content is pretty low – it is popular science at its most popular – but there is some science, some common sense and a lot of anecdotal evidence.  The sum total of this makes for a fairly specific impressions.  Well,  LifeFlow subtly copies the same recipe. They use their own words, no cut and paste, but they retain and use the same key concepts and in roughly the same order. If you have read Centerpointe stuff, it is very obvious.  Hilariously so, at times, although I am not sure if that was intended.  That makes it even funnier.

(The two competitors use the same basic technology, but only at the very core.  Both of them use binaural beats, which I have written about for a month now.  LifeFlow also uses monaural beats (where interference between two tones takes place in the air rather than the head) and isochronic tones (where a carrier tone is cut on and off, and the frequency at which it goes on and off is the target frequency).  Actually, the human ear cannot hear frequencies lower than 20 Hz at best, which is higher than those used to assist meditation.  Your body can FEEL the beat however if it is loud enough, but there is doubt about whether this causes brainwaves to follow the frequency. Isochronic tones however should work, in much the same way that pulses of light do.  They can also be used without headphones, but you still need the headphones for the binaural part.)

Where Centerpointe advertises “The lazy man’s way to meditate”, LifeFlow sells “the laziest, most enjoyable way to meditate ever”.  Centerpointe: “Did you know that people who meditate everyday are many times happier than those who don’t? They’re also healthier, and live longer.”  LifeFlow: “Did you know that people who meditate daily are much happier, healthier and live longer than those who don’t?” And so on, and on, for pages.  Everything Bill says, down to the dubious theory about reorganizing the brain on a higher level and the sage advice to not resist the change, Michael says too, in slightly different words.

So at work today I fired up the free demo MP3 which I had downloaded from their site.  While MP3 is a “lossy” compression, the LifeFlow Project Meditation still thinks it should have enough effect to impress the listener.  The sound was pretty soft, so I  turned it up quite a bit.  The result was an amazing feeling of suddenly being in a sunlit forest glade.  Birds were twittering, a small brook was gurgling happily in the background, and there were other vague sounds  like wind.  At this sound level, I could feel the  slight vibration in my body from the deep sounds that we can’t hear.  You may know this as “infrasound”.  In any case, it was as close  to being outdoors as you can be while in an office.

I enjoyed my improved work environment.  When the 14 minute demo stopped, I  just played it over. And over. At the fourth playing through (I think), I took a break from work and looked at their website, where I found the stuff above, where they were aping the Holosync Solution, down to the money back guarantedd (although there is only half as much money involved here) and the offer of personal follow-up and even a set of CDs on how to meditate. Each of these things and many others were lifted straight from Centerpointe’s Holosync pages, but casually written in other words.  At that point, I started to quiver with pleasure – or at least mirth – as endlessly happy endorphins and hormones coursed through my mind and body. As we say here in Norway, “a good laughter prolongs life”.

I had to turn off the sound and take a walk, but it took more than half an hour before the endlessly happy endorphins drained  enough that I could concentrate on work for more than a few seconds at a time.  I’ll definitely be more careful in the future, if any.  But whether the isochronic sounds could cause that kind of high without the hilarious and possibly unintentional parody, I don’t know.  If I find out, I will try to report again.

Unfortunately, the frequency used here (alpha) does not substitute for sleep, so I really really could need a bed now.

Loose tooth

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The tooth that fell out last year is definitely loose again. And what is worse, it started hurting this evening. It is not so bad yet, except if it is exposed to heat or cold, such as if I eat or breathe with open mouth.  Over the years I have lost track of which ceramic teeth have had their root canals filled (common in the bad old days of dentistry) and which only have a needle. But I think it is a good guess that this one still has a nerve, given the sharp jabs of pain if it comes into contact with heat, cold or sugar. Also, given that it has been glued on twice before and is loose again now.

I don’t think we can blame Holosync for this one…

In tradition with the rule “each time you buy a laptop, God kills a tooth”, I have actually looked at another Linux laptop.  This time it is not for me, however, but a friend of mine who has it on her wishlist.  But evidently it is my teeth who go either way. I wondered about that. I guess it is better than her tooth falling out if I buy her a laptop.  She really can’t afford that – she and her husband both live in America now, and it’s not exactly caviar and champagne over there.

I haven’t actually ordered the machine – wonder if the tooth will grow attached again if I definitely decide to not buy?

I can live with the occasional jab of pain for a while. I am more worried about a root canal infection. I’ve read that those leak bacteria into the blood, where they can cause anything from rheumatism to atherosclerosis to sepsis with shock and sudden death.  (The latter being fairly rare though.) Some believe that even a successful root canal work will remain a focal point for continuing infection for the rest of one’s life, but this is not accepted in mainstream medicine. Of course, the worst that could happen if you believe it is to end your life with few or no teeth, and that was the norm in my grandparents’ generation.  Actually, most had all their teeth extracted before they retired. Can’t say they were any healthier than the next generation with their root canals filled though.

Return of the snow

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di090326

So yesterday it snowed again, almost like winter. It is not winter though, it is white spring.  Today the snow plow was even here and made the scenery you see above.  It may still grow colder again, but for now the temperature stays above freezing almost all the time, so even if there comes some new snow now and again, it starts melting almost at once. It is like nature cannot really decide.

I feel a bit like that too.  I am a bit between fads, I think, so I don’t really know what will interest me tomorrow, if anything.

I uninstalled the Norton virus scan from my computer today and installed good old free Clamwin instead. Norton 360 is cool in that it actively catches worms and viruses if you are online without a firewall.  Which is the best way to be online, except for the worms and viruses, and especially if you are downloading fansubbed Japanese animated TV series that you don’t have time to watch anyawy. But it has its price.

I had Norton 360 for a year, even though it was kind of pricey.  I was even going to renew it, because I am lazy and money is not really a problem for a Norwegian, even of the barely lower middle class.  For a day the updater tried in vain to contact the server, or so it looked.  Eventually I started to suspect something, namely that it was trying to launch a website.  I changed default web browser to Internet Explorer instead of Opera, and it worked. Unfortunately, that was not a very reassuring trait, my antivirus program being unable to anticipate that I had another browser than the number one virus magnet on the planet. So it was only by a supreme effort of laziness that I continued the process. I filled in various information, including my credit card info, and sent it off.  The program chewed on it for a while, then told me that I had to try again later.  I tried a couple times, then waited a day or two.  When I tried again, the program came up with the same renewal screen – except the price was raised by about 40%.  Had I just happened to try to renew on the day they were re-pricing the product (and why would they do that anyway?) or had I showed so much commitment to them that they felt sure I would buy even at a much higher price?  We will never know, because I deleted Norton 360 from my computer.

I kept the free Norton scan, however.  It ran today, on its own.  A nice gesture. It found the usual cookies and stuff that I am better off having than not having, plus two viruses. These were in the browser cache, and since I had switched back to Opera they were harmless. (The viruses are written for Internet Explorer, remember?)  The program did not know this however and tried to seize its advantage by telling me that if I wanted to get rid of the viruses,  I would have to buy Norton 360.  Like fornication I will!  Norton virus scan deleted. If it is one thing that sets my teeth on edge, it is being treated like an idiot.  (Which makes sense once you know that where I come from, idiots are locked in a small room in the attic indefinitely, remember?)  Well, I’m not locked in by Norton anymore and hopefully I will find this entry the next time I am tempted to have any business with Symantec.  I tend to have vague memories of trivial things like this, and Google Desktop should do the rest.

I got new earphones recently too, but I can photograph them another day. This should be enough to convince you that I lived today too, always a bonus gift at my age.

Short update

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I slept well last night.  7.5 hours and no nightmares that I can remember.  Still slowly making my way through the Integral Life Practice book. (Reading it on the commute to/from work now.) Defrosting the fridge. Weather has turned to snow again, or at least slush. Spent the evening working on my Sims blog.  It has been delayed greatly by the new things this month, the book and the brainwave experiments and even the resurgence of the Chaos Node. Actually I think more people read the Sims blog, and this is reasonable, since in some ways my sims are more like common people than I am. Anyway, time to brave sleep soon. So, short update.

Creepy sleepy 2

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di090325

How could I possibly get any sleep when there are nameless horrors in my basement and faces of people who aren’t there?  (Apart from that, however, I’m fine.)

Well, at least I had one night of long restful sleep. Then last night the creepy returned, although different and less dangerous.

I had been in bed for about half an hour, but slept only a few minutes (unlike usual, it took me some time to fall asleep, I felt restless, perhaps because I had not exercised). I had a vivid dream, but this time in my dream at least I was not in my bed. Instead, I was in the hallway, a few steps away. I had opened the door down to the basement, which is currently not in use. The light was on down there, and there was some kind of activity. I called out, but there was no answer. I was filled with dread and slammed the door shut and locked it. Then I woke up in my bed.

The sheer ordinariness actually makes it worse, that it happens at the same place and time where I really am. It was as if I had just actually experienced it. I could not sleep again, also because my body was even more restless. I got up and turned on lights in each room – but the door to the basement I did not open. Even thinking the word “basement” made the hair on my body stand on end.

Having checked the rooms, I started exercising. And gradually the realization came to me. Let’s look at some amazing foreshadowing, here:
“But perhaps you should wait a little longer before you set off to reclaim the parts of yourself that you have thrown down the stairs to the basement and locked the door after. Because there may just be a reason why one would go to such an extreme step with a part of oneself.
Shadow work is not a hobby, to be undertaken for the excitement of it. At the very least pick your shadows carefully, because you really don’t want them to take over your house and throw you down the stairs to the basement, then lock the door.”
-Me, in the entry “Shadow work“, twelve days ago.

For most of my adult life, until a couple years ago, I did not have a basement. In fact, I used to live in a basement of sorts. So the phrase was purely metaphorical to me. Here in this house there actually is a basement – and for good measure, one that is mostly off-limits to me. (The landlord stores stuff there and even used to stay there for some days now and then.) It is the perfect embodiment of the subconscious, and it is right here a few steps from my bed!

For good measure, notice the irony of the phrase “a hobby, to be undertaken for the excitement of it”. What is this brainwave hacking, which I was already embroiled in when I wrote that earlier entry? A hobby, undertaken for the excitement of it. While a lot of people come to Holosync out of a desperate need to change their lives (or at least that is Harris’ impression), I am not one of them. Like my knowledge sims who roll the want to be hit by lightning, I am playing with things that are a few sizes too big for me, because of my curiosity.

And who is the part of me that was thrown down in the cellar? Well, I have a suspicion about that too, based on something else that happened while exercising. When I sit on the bike, my face is high enough to reflect in the glass mosaic window. Not as advanced as a church window, it consists of squares of different hues or different refraction, making it hard to see clearly through. The distorted face in the window took me back to the many years when I was scared of windows and mirrors in the dark, because seeing my face there reminded me of a childhood memory: Seeing the face of my autistic uncle in a windows when I was little.

My uncle was considered severely retarded (autism was not a diagnoses at the time) and was locked in a room upstairs. Not the basement, but the parallel is still kind of obvious. As a child, I was manically eager to show off how smart I was, and I have later thought this may have been because I feared being locked away and not counted as part of the family if I was too stupid. Like my uncle. We did not visit him, did not even talk about him (although my brothers scared me with him when I was too small to think, and I was scarred for life.) I at least did not even think about him, except when I happened to see his face in the window, the face of someone who wasn’t there, like a ghost only more physical. When that happened, I was filled with a nameless dread – the same dread that I felt this night.
Did Holosync indeed stir up this nest of hornets? I don’t know. It could be the ILP itself, or the time might just be right for it to surface. But messing with your deep brainwaves does seem like a prime suspect.

In any case, it took me a long time to quiet down. I did not get to sleep before the daylight was shining brightly through the window, so I only got like one hour or so of sleep. That can’t possibly be good, although I managed to function through the workday with only a minimal nap, a minute or two I’d say. Perhaps the stomach pain (in the ulcer spot) is also a price for the sleepless night.

I hope this does not become a hobby. But that said, perhaps it is about time the light of awareness starts shining into my basement. Carefully, very carefully.

Creepy when sleepy

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di090323

Not being able to tell real life and dreams apart is a bad thing no matter how you look at it. Although like most things it gets better with cute girls and worse with lethal weapons.

OK, I suppose we COULD blame this one on Holosync, but I am not sure that is fair. I had an even worse episode in the previous century, after all. But it certainly was creepy, to say the least.

I had been sleeping for a bit under half an hour when I woke from sounds in the house, or so I thought. I heard the sound of running water from the bathroom across the hallway, and adult footsteps in the hallway. I was like “the burglars have come, I have to defend myself” and I fumbled for my weapon. Unfortunately, my brain was full of this loud buzzing sound except it was not just sound, it filled the whole brain, and every two seconds or so there was this discontinuity – spindles, it is called in sleep research, and I was aware of what it was even then. Those K-complexes have some serious amplitude so it is next to impossible to complete a thought before they reset your brain. I squeezed my eyes hard shut and created my own buzz, flushing my brain and clawing my way back to a waking state.

As my brain resumed normal operations, it realized that burglars don’t behave like that. They don’t use running water, they don’t walk around. They either sneak or break. Also, there was not a sound anymore. I had routinely checked the door before I went to bed, and I had been in all rooms since last it was open. Nobody could have gotten in without breaking a window. In short, the sounds were some kind of dream experience, which I had mistaken for real life because my location in the dream (lying in my bedroom) coincided with my location in real life.

Still, I really hope this doesn’t become a habit. Or if it does, I may have to reconsider my habit of sleeping with a handgun, a long knife and a hammer under my pillow!

***

In happier news (as in quivering with pleasure and endless happy endorphins, according to their website) I’ve taken a look at LifeFlow, a newer competitor to Holosync and the original Hemi-Sync. It is a simpler approach, but it goes all-out for what it tries to do. Each CD aims to generate one single brainwave frequency, using a mix of binaural beats, isochronic tones (sound bursts) and monaural beats, a less subtle audible wave form. They offer a free sample, and it is not as bad as I feared when they heap on with effects like that. Actually it is pretty melodic.

While Holosync starts close to normal relaxed brainwaves and slowly moves downward (well, for the main program at least), LifeFlow scoffs at this approach. They go straight for the intended level, but warns the user that it will take roughly 8 minutes to entrain. They don’t believe in the story of carrier frequency either. Instead they recommend you start with a high alpha (close to the daily beta level) and use that for a lengthy period, then a lower alpha, an even lower alpha, a high theta etc. As you see, this is a completely different approach. Holosync gets to the slow waves from the first day, but gradually each time.

While I’m reading up a bit on this, I am aware that it may be a bad idea to mix meditations without asking a guru (kind of like mixing medication without asking a doctor, right?). If anything, I should keep a wary eye on my brain function for a while, just in case there is more creepiness.

We don’t want my blog to suddenly disappear, after all, like that other guy!

“Welcome to the family”

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di090319

Your opinion doesn’t really count when people have first decided to be nice.

I came home from work, and checked my physical mailbox. I was mildly surprised to find a package. Less surprised than last time I found a package, which was only yesterday. This one was not priority rush express, so I briefly entertained the notion that it might not be from Centerpointe Research Institute. On the other hand, I can’t think of anyone else who would send me stuff I don’t expect. It was marked as “gift” and “educational material”, which would match my longest reader, who also for a while would send me random books. (This bag was definitely book-sized.) On the other hand, I think I have convinced her to stop with that, after posting photos of my book shelves covered in two layers of books. Plus, I did not recognize the sender town.

Yes, dear reader. It is the amazing Bill Harris, founder and director of Centerpointe Research Institute, who has sent me another book, his own well-received Thresholds of the Mind. I am starting to wonder if he even turns a profit anymore. At least this was ordinary mail, and as such much cheaper than the priority express he normally uses.

The package also contained a letter. It started with “Dear friend” and concluded with “once again, welcome to the Centerpointe family”. Perhaps it was this that made me remember.

Many years ago, in my early days living in the basement apartment that was my original Chaos Node, long before the website or even before the web came to Norway, there was in the neighborhood a girl I liked. There was no romantic relationship between us, not that everyone was absolutely convinced about that, but we were good friends. Her father was also a friend of mine, I was around mid between them in age. One day he suddenly showed up at my apartment with various pieces of furniture. I guess this is a side effect of the golden rule — I can only assume he liked having people show up with furniture without asking whether he needed it. And evidently our dear friend Bill is of the same type. Welcome to the family indeed.

***

And yes, Bill, I am using the Awakening Prologue. Twice a day, actually, because I don’t get enough sleep at night, thanks to my sock allergy. Or whatever it is. I wake up with my feet itching like crazy. But at least I get to remember my dreams by waking up in the middle of the night, so it is good for something. This time I dreamed about a tsunami. But only a small one. Nobody died — none of the people I was with, at least. I am not so sure about the people who were wandering out staring at the starfish and stuff on the exposed sea bottom after the water had pulled out and before it came rolling back in.

I don’t think the dreams have anything to do with HoloSync. It is quite normal for me to have scary dreams in the beginning of the night – in fact, the first often starts within minutes of falling asleep – and then they gradually turn more pleasurable toward the morning.

Anyway, I had wanted to write more about HoloSync today, but then something actually happened in real life, and I remembered something I don-t think I have written about. Perhaps another time!

Oh, and the tooth from yesterday? It hurt less after half an hour with syncing, and was fine in the morning (after five hours of sleep). Yay! But I think it might be wise to try to go to bed earlier or something. I just have to find something really boring to do before bedtime. Perhaps the book Bill sent me can help with that?

Dentist day again

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di090318

Extremely important!  Hmm, then why did I not expect it?

Totally slice of life today. Well, I am glad to have a life to slice. Let’s hope it continues that way.

The big event of the day was going to the dentist again. If not, the big event would have been the visit from our supreme boss – I believe he is the boss of the boss of my boss’ boss, but I am not really a hierarchical person at heart so I may have missed someone. Probably not though. I believe over this guy there is just one more, at most two, before the King. Yes, we have a King here in Norway, although he is mostly for show. Anyway, synchronicity strikes again! The guy was slated to appear in our department at the same time I already had my dentist appointment. Since I had nothing unspoken with Big Boss, I went to the dentist instead.

It was a minor thing, as I saw it. Remember how I lose a tooth each time I buy a laptop? The last time I went to the dentist, he put in a temporary tooth (or “crown”, as the root is still there and (surprisingly) still alive. Still alive…

As for me, I am also still alive as of writing this (not ghost writer!) but my tooth hurts. This was not expected. I mean, all the preparations were done last time. All he did was pull out the temporary tooth, clean out the place where it had stood (it smelled death, it is kind of hard to clean UNDER a tooth after all), try the new on for size, drill off a tiny bit of the corresponding tooth in the upper jaw because it hurt biting, pull out the tooth, rinse again and dry, add some kind of glue, and press the new tooth down in the glue for a few minutes. That’s it. So why does it hurt almost as much six hours later?

Needleprick pain is one of our most precise senses, but inflammation pain is not. I can feel that the broken tooth is in pain, but I cannot say whether it is the gums (which were once again harshly treated) or the root canal (which is perforated by a needle, but hasn’t reacted to it for the last couple weeks). If it is just an inflammation caused by mechanical stress (kind of like your skin turns red if you scratch it hard) I am not worried. Moderate pain does not stop me from living my life as normal (although agony does – I just have a high pain tolerance, I am still human, despite my prior aspirations to the contrary). But an infection is an actual health risk. So much more so since these days, we are almost back to a century ago before penicillin was discovered. A big “NO-thanks” to all who use antibiotics against virus (where it has no effect) or “just to be sure”, allowing a wide range of bacteria to become immune to a wide range of antibiotics. Way to go to send us back to the dark ages guys!

So if this is my last entry ever, I was probably eaten by flesh-eating bacteria. Or perhaps I stumbled in the stairs and broke my neck. There is no way you’ll ever know. But you will know that using antibiotics as candy is bad, and that’s something.

***

But it would be a small day if it only had room for a dentist appointment and the consequent pain, right? So how about more HoloSync stuff, it being my current fad and all. (I have a meta entry about my fads lying around in case I should end up without a fresh entry one day, but it won’t be today.)

This morning I continued the tradition from the last two mornings to wake up earlier (or rather less late) and spend half an hour listening to the Dive, the basic soundtrack of the HoloSync Awakening Prologue. I had slept around 6 hours this time, in other words almost enough. (Not considering any sleep debt.) According to not only Centerpointe but relatively independent users, an hour of HoloSync in the morning is better than an extra hour of sleep. This is not to say you can completely replace sleep with HoloSync. I am not sure why not, but I haven’t heard of anyone doing it. The same goes for meditation. You can substitute one for another up to a certain point, but gradually the value of one will shrink and the value of the other will grow.

Anyway, this morning was the first time I stayed pretty much awake all the way through, even through the last minutes which are supposed to be delta waves. And I realized that sleeping through HoloSync is the easy part. Staying with it when you’re not sleeping and with the world’s best computer games only inches away from your hand is going to be the hard part.

I had another micro-dream this time. I almost opened my eyes, enough that I sensed brightness, and in the brightness I saw the street where I walk from work to the commute bus. It was an ordinary day and I was walking down the street as usual, but I was aware that I was actually sitting in my chair with my eyes just barely closed and seeing all this. Woo. It did not last long though. Not as much fun as Sims 2 or City of Heroes, but hey, take what you can get.

You’d think that would be enough HoloSync for one day, but then you would have counted out Bill Harris too early. (Founder and director of Centerpointe Research Institute, but I feel I have said this so often that I should abbreviate it or something.) I may have misjudged the man. He cannot be as greedy as I estimated from his slick salesman verbiage and the exaggerated claims for his product. If he was greedy – or even had a strong economic sense – he would not send me a bunch more CDs with NEXT DAY PRIORITY EXPRESS mail from across the Atlantic Ocean. That set him back $8.65, not counting the content, for stuff I had not ordered and would never have missed if he hadn’t sent it. And the price of the whole thing was pretty squeezed from the start. He really can’t be making much money from me. Although there is a chance that he thinks this will make me more likely to buy other stuff from Centerpointe, perhaps. Or perhaps he is more philanthropic than I thought.

So yeah, I came home from work and there was this thick envelope with CDs and a couple letters from Centerpointe. And an even thicker envelope with socks. I subscribe to socks by mail, and have done so for many, many years. It may end now, however.

Over the last couple weeks, I have had this crazy itch at random times on my feet. It usually starts on the ankle of one foot, and spreads to all of the sock-covered area except the soles of my feet. This happens several times a day, and I have taken to spending my time at home without socks because of it. The skin is now full of red dots and some larger cracks. Rashes? Something like that. I suspect the socks. I mean, it matches almost exactly with where the socks touch my skin. I don’t know if they have added something to the socks recently, or if there is a change in my skin instead. But I think it is time to try another brand of socks. That’s a shame, because they have served me very well for a couple decades now at least.

***

My gums are not the only thing hurting after going to the dentist. (Actually feeling a bit better now, thank you.) There is also the pain in my wallet. I paid my bills yesterday, and the dentist bill was the size of my new netbook and neural impulse actuator put together! This time was only about half that. Still, it is a remarkable place to live, where medical bills are merely symbolic, but where dental insurance does not exist at all (or perhaps it does for movie stars).

This month’s bill was overall remarkable for being more than my monthly income after tax. That is a rare thing these days, thank the Light. Of course, it is not every month I buy a computer, although it may seem so to the casual reader. Or break a tooth. Actually there was so much money in my account that I had to go back and check that there were no erroneous incoming payments, and that I had remembered paying my rent lately. No, there is not even remotely enough to begin thinking of buying a house; it is more the size of a decent used car. But given my socioeconomic status by Norwegian standards, and my attitude to money in general, that is still baffling.

Oh, and since this is all slice of life anyway, let me tell you about Symantec Norton 360, the antivirus and overall computer security program I use on my main computer. This is the computer that is connected to the Internet through a direct connection to the router (although the router itself uses a firewall that has only a few holes in it for basic services). Every some months there will be worms trying to get in through the ports, and Norton will catch them before they can hurt anything. It is kind of expensive for being useful so rarely, but money is not exactly a big concern in Norway. Also, it is very unobtrusive, unlike Norman, which I could get for free but which constantly whines and nags and boasts and interferes with normal computer use.

My 1 year license expired yesterday. For all of that day and all of today, the Symantec renewal service have tried in vain to connect to their server. Perhaps there is no such renewal, perhaps you have to buy it again, I don’t know. Neither does Symantec, evidently. It is kind of sad to see it strive so earnestly to call home, and nobody answers, for two days now.

It does not really inspire confidence in them, though, at least not enough for me to go out of my way to buy them again. I really only need the direct connection for BitTorrent, where I exchange Japanese TV programs that are not available outside Japan in any other way. I guess I should use Linux for that. I wish I had not lost the power supply for the old, old HP laptop. It is plenty good enough to run a BT client under Linux.

OK, that was slice of life, but not life as you know it. Very nerdy life. I guess this is a good place to stop. I’ve been reading about the causal body too, but I think this is verging on geek overload already. But if you think you could do it better, it takes 5 minutes tops to get an online blog. Come on, I’m all (movable) ears.

HoloSync vs. sleep

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di090317

There are several reasons for lack of sleep… although in my case, our supergroup’s weekly gaming night isn’t until Wednesday. And even then I’ve usually had to skip it. Perhaps HoloSync can fix that too?

There is still some vegetation in my sinuses, although it mostly only blossoms up over the workday. Perhaps my workplace is cursed, there certainly are plenty of people who have felt the reason to curse us. Or perhaps work just sucks. There was some poll here in Norway a few years ago among the people on disability pension, and the vast majority of them reported good or very good health. This upset some people, who thought these folks were just relaxing with a drinking straw in our tax money, and not even sick at all. But the thing is, they were almost certainly ill, and many of them gravely ill, back when they had to work. Conversely, if we had the year off, we would be practically bursting with vitality. Work sucks. Even the Bible says so. But it has to be done. Even if that means my sinuses run full of stuff you don’t discuss during meals.

So on the night to yesterday, I went to sleep at a decent time, but told myself that if I woke up early, I would just get up and do a Dive (the entry-level HoloSync session) instead of trying to sleep more and get my bronchia full of goo. This also came to pass, although I should probably not have gotten up after only four and a half hours of sleep. In retrospect. Hindsight. 20/20 and all that.

The reason why I got up was actually also that I had just finished a rather dramatic dream, by my standards. It was certainly more exciting to me than I am able to describe it, but every bit as exhausting. I will write it later in the entry if it looks too short.

Anyway, I did the extra sync (I also do one after I come home, sometimes right after and sometimes later in the evening, but well before bedtime so I don’t go to bed too rested). I fell asleep, as usual, but I guess it helped. I did not fall asleep at work, or at least not for long. (I have written repeatedly about the value of naps at work. I don’t have as many of them as I used to, but often a short one, which restores my energy greatly in only a few minutes. Naps are good. People should do those instead of smoking and drinking coffee, and the world would be a better place.)

Fast forward to this morning. I had gone to bed too late, for reasons that fall outside this entry. So I only had 5:30 hours to sleep, while the optimum for me is 6:30 to 7, depending on my energy level. I decided against adding an extra hour to the timer, knowing that this will likely incur a cost when I try to get back. My body does not “go back” when it comes to wake-up time. Add that to the intestinal routines of my morning (again outside the scope of this entry) and I would soon end up at work after lunch. So once again I put my trust in HoloSync.

You may already know that yogis, gurus and Zen monks get by on much less sleep than most people. Because they meditate hours a day, and have done so for decades, something has changed inside them so that some of the meditation time counts as sleep time. Should I explain the biology of that? Normal sleep consists of several phases, which follow each other in a 90-minute cycle. The two supposedly essential phases are delta (deep dreamless sleep) and REM (vivid dream), but there is also time spent in vague, non-vivid dream sleep. People who wake from that “filler” sleep often believe that they have been thinking rather than dreaming, more so the older they are. (This type of sleep becomes more and more lifelike over time, in other words. It also makes up more of the total sleep time.) It is also worth noting that in the beginning of the night, delta sleep makes up more of the 90 minutes, while toward the morning REM takes up more time and delta sleep dwindles.

People who meditate very deeply enter into brain/mind states that are similar to some of the sleep states, but with the difference that they are passively aware during them, conscious instead of unconscious. In extreme cases they are also passively aware (“witnessing”) during actual sleep. I don’t know if there is any benefit to that except that it is cool. But making do with less sleep certainly sounds like a benefit to me!

Now HoloSync (and its competitors in the binaural technology) induce these altered brain waves through technology. The Dive starts with alpha waves, which are common in deep relaxation and just before falling asleep. It then moves on to theta waves, which plays some role during REM and possible also during filler sleep (I need to check that again) and which is slower than alpha. Finally it moves down into delta waves for the last part of the 30 minutes it lasts.

There is a second track on the CD, which you can set to play right after the Dive once you have gotten used to it, and it keeps you in delta for another half hour. That is substantially longer than you normally stay in deep sleep in one go, unless you are badly exhausted. I only use the Dive yet, however.

This time I stayed awake during most of the Dive, and minimally aware even during the last part. Although I lost volition fairly early, so that I could not have looked at my watch even if I wanted to (which I might be tempted to, since I did not have much more than the half hour before I had to go to work). I was surprised at staying aware so much for so long, since during all my earlier listens I have fallen asleep fairly quickly. (It still has some effect as long as your headphones stay on though, so no big loss.) This time I even had a very brief lucid dream scene, nothing interesting really (I was running toward our mailboxes and saw them coming closer and closer) but it was kind of cool to watch this and know that it came from my brain entering theta waves. (I can not normally visualize, the way most humans can, when awake. It just does not work.)

I was a bit tired at work, but I am pretty sure it helped at least somewhat. Normally I would have needed a 7 hour sleep at least since I was already in sleep debt from the previous day.

I think only the last 10 minutes or so of the Dive is actual delta, and perhaps 10 minutes theta, so it hardly makes up for a whole lost sleep cycle. But it does seem to mitigate lack of sleep somewhat. If I ever move on to add the 30 minutes of delta in Immersion, I ought to report any changes in my sleep habits here.

It strikes me that there are two groups of people who could benefit from this side effect. The most obvious is those who suffer from insomnia. If you don’t fall asleep when listening to the HoloSync tracks, that is considered a Good Thing. It is more effective if you are conscious at the time and can listen to it. If you fall asleep after all, well, sleep is what you don’t get enough of, right?

The other group is those who suffer from alpha intrusion in their delta sleep. There is a meme going around in the Chronic Fatigue Syndrome camp that this alpha intrusion is found in most people with the illness, and I have seen some who think it may be a cause of the chronic fatigue itself. Delta sleep is important for regenerating the body. There needs to be more study of whether delta without sleep has all the same benefits, but the few tests that have been done show hormone levels changing as if the test persons got lots of delta sleep. So theoretically binaural beat technology might restore function to ME/CFS patients, although they might need to use it for a couple hours a day for the rest of their lives. Also, they would lose their disability pensions, but if they are anything like me, they would probably rather work than be sick. Even though work sucks, being sick sucks more.

OK, this got pretty long. The dream was about getting off the train by mistake and chasing it. Not very exciting, I’m afraid. Then again it wasn’t a lucid dream at all. Lucid people rarely get off the train hours before their station. Although I am sure it happens and is more interesting to hear about than my dreams.

Still good to be me

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di090311

The lawn, since evidently melting snow is interesting.  ^_^

The news from the world are mostly unpleasant: Banks collapse, millions lose their jobs, bacteria become resistant, capitalism is dead, Mugabe lives and continues dictatorierating, and Barnes & Noble have bought Fictionwise. Oppression in Tibet goes from worse to even worse, and the world doesn’t much care because it is weeping over its lost wallet.

But here in my cozy rented little house, there is nothing of all that. As a Norwegian song from my much younger days put it:

“Bare jeg får kose meg i bingen min
kan de andre gjøre hva de vil
ja bare jeg får kose meg i bingen min
er det ikke noe mere som skal til”

(As long as I can enjoy myself in my pigsty,
The others can do what they want.
Yes, as long as I can enjoy myself in my pigsty,
There is nothing more that is needed.)

OK, I would feel better if my sinuses dropped the low-key infection that keeps sending great gobs of green gelatinous goo down my throat, there to choke me at random times of day and night. Hacking like crazy to get the stuff up before I drown in it is rather scary and unpleasant. But apart from that, I really enjoy myself in my pigsty.

The package from Amazon.com arrived yesterday, about a fortnight earlier than expected. (A book, strangely enough in these electronic times. “Integral Life Practice.” I have not read it, but it is by Ken Wilber and friends, so it is probably interesting for the abnormally intelligent, less so for anyone else. I’m somewhere in between there, so I plan to read it someday. So far I have not opened it though.)

I have moved on to the industrial strength HoloSync that I wrote about when it arrived two days ago. I am supposed to do only the first track (“the Dive”) for the first two weeks. The only problem with this is that I fall asleep fairly early during that first track, and when I wake up it is already a ways into the second. This is probably not a problem at all, especially given that I am asleep, but I should probably set up some kind of beeper to go off after half an hour just to be sure I get it right. If it is like the demo, I will be able to stay awake gradually longer through it. Whether it takes as little as two weeks, however, remains to be seen. Perhaps if I actually sleep enough at night… Fat chance!

There are just too many fun things to do if I shouldn’t sleep too. The beta testing does not get as much attention as it deserves, and my sims run with only half an eye of attention. (I have a second Prosperity Challenge, for those who are into the terminology, and it runs on the other computer here in my home office. At least I am not blogging it, the way I do Micropolis.) I have been thinking about starting a game of Civilization IV again – it has been a year or two since last time – but I just can’t find time for it. (I mistyped this a “O just can’t find time for it” which is probably at least as accurate, although it will only make sense to readers of One Cosmos or at least of Bion.)

Have I mentioned that I got another of the new rye breads made with sourdough (leavening) and plenty of sunflower seeds? Just today I read someone complain about the spreading practice of putting sunflower seeds in the dark breads. But the truth is that I like it almost too much. Now that I can only eat a few grams of fat every six hours, I have a constant low-key craving for fat. After I regained much of my lost weight, the desire no longer manifests as pangs of need, but virtually anything fat still tastes delicious. And sunflower seeds are full of oil, delicious yummy oil! It is supposedly fairly healthy too, as fats go. But it is still fat, which means that I need to be aware of it and eat that much less of other fats. It is still worth it though. Mmm, yummy bird seeds! I hope this itching is not my wings trying to grow out…

The snow is melting quickly, although it could come back any day. Today it was hot in the living room when I came home, like a greenhouse. I think that is the first time this spring, although it was pleasantly warm another day or two before. It was a totally sunny, shiny day, although the sun went down around the time I came home. It is still Norway, after all. But then again Norway is the best place to live, so I’m not complaining. Or at least not today.