Dreaming about pregnancies again. It’s been a while.

Yesterday morning, while sleeping at the hotel, I had a memorable dream. I dreamed that somehow the rumor had spread that I was going steady with a nurse. The story grew over time, so that after a suitable time we were supposedly not only living together but also had a baby. This amused me, and I did nothing to kill the rumors, if that is even possible. But evidently even this was not enough…

One day I saw a young woman outside a house, painting or something while wearing pajamas. She was quite young, probably less than 20. At least she looked that way, being too skinny to be attractive to me. But another guy was pestering her, a local of that world whom I vaguely knew, who was drunk again. She was standing on something so that her middle was nearly even with his eyes and I saw that he was unable to resist. As he reached out to touch her, I snapped a picture with my mobile phone. She barked at him and shooed him away, and he also became aware of me taking the picture (which was the point) so he was shamed and left her. Instead he followed me, arguing that I was hardly in a position to criticize other people when I myself had made a younger woman pregnant while I had a fiancee and a baby at home. I was like WTF, and he went into some detail so I understood who he was talking about. It would have been amusing except probably not for her. Rumors had it the younger girl would be having an abortion, so of course her lack of a baby or even a visible pregnancy would actually just verify the story for them.

There was some more, about the pictures on my phone, which were several of friends and family, but the dream began to wind down from here.

I don’t see any deeper meaning, except for this: The girl was wearing blue-striped pajamas very similar to my (in)famous old PJs, which extremely regular readers saw repeatedly when the journal was young. A subtle reminder that with our dreams, not only are we the director, but we also play all the roles.

Heaven help the IRS (dream)

One of the great things about sleeping in is the fantastic dreams. I mean fantastic in a most literal sense, as it certainly exceeds my fantasy sometimes. This morning was one of them.  And in color, too.

I dreamed that the Norwegian IRS had made a deal with Heaven. There was some religious organization involved, which in retrospect seems like a fusion of the Japanese new religion Happy Science and the originally Norwegian pious church Smith’s Friends. I dare say that in waking life none of them would have taken that fusion lying down. But it gets weirder.

Heaven had provided magical rings. Actually there were only a modest number of these, delivered by the aforementioned religious organization. But the good news is, any member of the IRS could simply pray for one, and the High Spirits of Heaven (angels and above, I guess) would grant the power to materialize a ring.  Once you had one of those, you simply put it on, and whenever there was any tax evasion (and, from the looks of it, some other evils as well) the ring would flare up with a bright blue light.

I am not sure what the blue light did other than flare up to various degrees. The dream changed to a depiction of massive Heavenly action against the criminals.  In the twilight, holy warriors of the IRS hunted down the culprits, and news reports came in from all over the country.  This was still ongoing when I woke up.

Dreaming of “Happy Science”

I guess it had to happen sooner or later. This morning, just before I woke up, I had a lifelike dream where Happy Science in Norway held a congress on the south coast, so it was convenient for me to attend. It turned up that there were actually very few members who attended (though there may have been others who for various reasons could not). The national leader, a woman, was there though, and at least one other guy who was a member.

I apologize for the fact that if you google Happy Science Norway, my blog will come at the top of the list. I did not ask Google to do that! I guess I am just that popular. -_- There actually is a small division of Happy Science in Norway, or at least there was last summer. Unfortunately it seems to have gone underground again, if it still exists, I have not seen any mention of them since last fall. As I am not actually a member of the organization, I feel that it is not appropriate for me to give out any kind of contact information on the Web. For all I know, the Norwegian leader in real life may have left the organization or the nation or even the mortal world. Oh well, if Mr Okawa’s plans come to fruition, they will definitely be back, very much so, until the whole country is brightly lit with Buddha’s golden Light. But for now at least, my dreams are not the reality.

Back in my dream, the female boss turned out to be polite but very hard-nosed / businesslike. She spent a lot of time with me, reviewing the changes that the Truth had made in my life. There was quite a number of them, something that made her happy. She also inquired about my plans for the future, among other things how long I thought it would be before I was a millionaire. Even in the dream, that was a “what the heck” moment.

In real life, Happy Science in Japan has a reputation for being an upper class cult, with a disproportionate number of successful businessmen and even high-ranking politicians as members or closely aligned with it. Due to its financial freedom, the organization even participated in the country’s general election in competition with the two main parties, although in the end almost no one voted for them. They still have indirect influence though because the doctrine mostly appeal to the rich and the intellectual, whereas most other religions condemn prosperity to some degree and discourage people from thinking too deeply. Mr Okawa however feels that good people ought to be the richest and smartest, that way goodness will get the upper hand in society, so he encourages innovation and lifelong learning and seeking positions of power and responsibility.

Back in the dream, someone appeared with some papers regarding the congress, and the boss gave them to me to read through and sign, presumably because I was local to the area. Reluctantly I decided to sign them. Where was the other guy who I had assumed was the second-in-command? How had I ended up becoming Happy Science’s face toward the Norwegian public? 

And then I woke up, made a Google search and ended up asking myself the exact same thing.

Dreams and dying bumblebees

This morning I had long and complex dreams, since my alarm did not go off as it does on workdays.  Most is forgotten, of course, but toward the end I was in a city that looked too perfect, too sparkling clean and modern. It made me think of the capital city of the Praetorian alternate world in City of Heroes. Anyway, I went into a large church there.  They were about to cure some people of deadly diseases.  The first was a young woman who went into an enclosure beyond our sight.  I had a bad foreboding about this.  At the same time, a woman was wandering around in the church, telling about how she could not afford surgery.  I and the woman beside me were about to give her money (something I would not do in real life, since in real life people lie shamelessly if they can get paid for it). A very muscular man came over and stopped us.  “All money should be given to the Church, which will then use it to help those in need.”  There was a definite “or else…” in his demeanor, and I got out of there very quickly.  After a stroll on the city’s moving pavements, I returned with a coworker to the garage under the cathedral, just as they were removing the bloody remnant of the girl who was “cured”.  Exploded seems a more fitting description of what happened to her.

The other dream I remember was of attending a job-related seminar, about some new software that was introduced.  I understood it easily, but most of the people there were just ordinary users, and they had a harder time with it. Two of them were from Kristiansand, where I work, and we knew each other at least somewhat. I cannot now remember if I know them in real life, but I know the type at least.  They were women, like most of those present, and rather cute. I wanted to look at one of them in a lustful way, but did not get around to it before the seminar was over and we all had to leave.  Evidently ogling women is not a high priority even in my dreams anymore.  Someone had forgotten a camera, though I don’t remember if it was me. There was also something else computer-related going on, but it did not make it to my long-term memory.   As if this is not enough filler.

In waking life, a badly incapacitated bumblebee was in the upstairs hallway, right outside my bedroom door.  Later today she was crawling along downstairs, outside my bathroom door.  It is  a big one, presumably a mother bumblebee (kind of like queen bees, but bumblebees have fewer offspring.) I have had a couple of those come inside to die before, but it is weeks since last time. I wonder what makes them come inside and, from the looks of it, seeking me out. Does their little bumblebee spirit regard me as some kind of god, thinking that if they can only die in my presence, they will be guaranteed a good afterlife?  Or are they simply instinctively trying to get stepped on, to end the pain?

Well, I don’t even really understand myself, so what is the chance that I will understand the dying wish of a bumblebee?

Pseudo-Messiah dream

Do I have a Messiah complex? In my dreams!  My subconscious reads my journal (no surprise there) and mocks my resolution to not claim spiritual VIP status.

In my dream this morning, I am like Jesus. I do wonders, I preach goodness, I am seized by the authorities and sentenced to death. Except I don’t die, unbeknownst to them, I escape at the last moment. Actually this is the third year in a row they do this, so they are understandably upset at this point. In my dream I remember the two previous attempts. This time they lock me in a small hut and burn it down. Somehow I quantum tunnel out of there or something. At the end of the dream I can no longer perform miracles. But then again, it is a year till next Easter (or the equivalent in this culture).

The dream was dramatic enough while it lasted, but when I woke up I saw the absurdity of it and that’s when I thought of Life of Brian, which I only know from pop culture references. Perhaps I should watch it some day if it is still around.

For now, though, I just stick with my plan to not claim spiritual superhero status. Or at least not above 6th-dimensional programmer. ^_^

A thoughtful silence?

I haven’t been writing much lately, but I have been thinking some, and observing myself as usual. I have been observing my dreams each morning. This morning I dreamed that I had moved to (or perhaps built) a house on the road to the farm where I grew up. The road goes through a stretch of wilderness with trees, bushes, shrubs and stones, where the nearest farms are at best distant lights. I remember when I was little, walking to school in the morning, during the dark season here in Norway, and I afraid of the dark. I would talk loudly or sing to hold at bay my fear of the dark and the things that might lurk there – wolves or giant animals, perhaps. This was a more innocent age, where the fear of children was not men. In any case, this was the stretch of road where I now dreamed that I had set up my home. While living there, I was approached by an angry fox, which I eventually befriended, and later a lynx, which I was still trying to befriend when the dream ended.

Not very useful information for future historians, perhaps. Who knows?

Part of the reason for holding my tongue is that I am, as usual, pondering the lessons I have learned from sect leader and acclaimed author Ryuho Okawa. He pretty much ticks of the check list for Antichrist: He tries to transcend and include existing religions, including Christianity. He claims to be the God who resurrected Jesus Christ, and even has temples built where he can claim to be a god. Not the Creator, mind you: He stresses the enormous distance between us and the Primordial God. El Cantare is simply the spiritual leader of this planet – in fact, the name can be translated as “god of the world”. That alone should make the neck hairs rise on a Christian. And yet, for all that, this man is the first I can think of that has so much understanding in common with myself. So what does that say about me?

I don’t know. I try to review my life as it goes on, watching my thoughts and feelings and actions. I am only at the beginning of everything I do. But if I keep the current course, if I live to a ripe old age, will I end up becoming more and more like that man? My conscience really does not allow me not to, with the notable exceptions of claiming to be a god and an extraterrestrial and so on. Let us hope that exception keeps up, at least. But the principles of love, wisdom, self-reflection and progress? Hard to disagree with those. Working toward a happiness that increases the happiness of other people, rather than taking away from it? That should be obvious to anyone. Love is something you give, not something you can claim? That is an eternal truth. Just because a scary person agrees with it and preaches it does not mean it won’t remain true forever.

In the end, I will have to simply continue becoming more and more myself. If that means I become more similar to controversial people, then I can do nothing about it.

But I am thinking that I need to build on the “iceberg that is under the surface” – the 80-90% that should be hidden from sight. I cannot just blurt out every spiritual truth that I discover. But if I don’t, then to some extent I don’t get much new either. Because some of what I write is probably not really meant for me in the first place, but for some poor chap at the other end of Google. It is my dubious task to say the words that must be spoken, before they are lost forever. And “for each useless word that a human speaks, he shall make account on judgement day”, as Jesus says. Between these twin demands live I, and I suppose anyone who thinks seriously about words. There really is no other meaningful way to relate to words. The normal is to just let them flow out, like a dog who pees on every bush along the road. There seems to be no end to the pee and the words that the dog and the human use to mark their territory. But past a certain level of consciousness this becomes no longer tolerable.

Today is St John’s Wake, an important festival in Norway, and one of the few that have survived the transition to a post-Christian society. I was invited to gather with the neighbors this evening. I have not really had the opportunity to meet most of them since I moved here. I wish it could continue that way – not because I have anything against them or even fear them, but because I doubt my ability to be of any benefit to them whatsoever. Even if I go, it will surely be a waste of all our time. But then again, so is befriending foxes in a place that never even existed. So here I go, may God have mercy on my soul.


I am home unharmed except for a cough. The whole event was very dignified, and I think I blended in pretty well after a little while. Two policemen showed up at the end, probably because of the bonfire. I am not sure open fire is legal at this point, as it is very dry. The bonfire is an essential part of the tradition though, so we had a small one. Nobody got arrested.

Time travel dream

This morning I had a dream that was not hellish at all. It was very long and the details are already gone, but I traveled through time and met many historical people of fame. A couple of them knew about time travel: Einstein and King Solomon for sure, and Alexander the Great at least knew something strange was going on. I also saw some cool technology from the near future, but nothing that I could copy or that really revolutionized life.  All in all it was a pleasant dream, although I was quite tired when I woke up.

A punny dream

Picture from Møll.

Here at Møll there are several people who have that place name as their last name, a common tradition in Norway among farmers and their descendants. One of these works at the tax office.  (This is actually true in real life.)

In my dream, some guy came to the tax office and asked to see Møll. When Mr Møll appeared, the guy basically dumped a load of tax papers on the desk and excused himself and left. “What’s with him?” wondered my neighbor. I replied: “Perhaps he has read the Scripture that says: Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where Moth and rust destroy…”

(The Norwegian word for moth is møll, as regular readers may remember. Yes, even in my dreams I make cheesy puns! But at least I still recall the Scriptures in my sleep, so perhaps there is some hope for my soul…)

Dreaming of Hitler

Early this morning I had a truly nightmarish dream. It started innocently enough. I was working in this place that I have never seen before.  At the end of the day, the boss went home, and there was only me and a female receptionist left when a VIP client showed up with a complaint.  I could hear the receptionist talking with him and giving him a map of the building before I realized who he was.  It was Hitler, which our company had cloned from some old cells.

In all fairness, I don’t think anyone except perhaps our boss knew who it was, only that it was a Very Important Person.  Even the receptionist did not recognize him, but then again she probably got the job for her cuteness and not her general education level. I recognized him at once, of course, and I also realized why he was complaining.  He was cloned from old body cells that were reaching the end of their lives, so he was in a bad shape, and his mind was as deranged as his body was grotesque.  He was mutating in front of us, becoming more and more misshapen and more and more insane.  We ran away, and he kept chasing us, until he found us and cornered us in the last room upstairs. But just then, his body broke down completely and he dissolved gradually into stinking brown goo.

Shaken, we went downstairs again – and there was another Hitler. The automated cloning machines had thoughtfully made a backup, and I realized that it probably had backups of the backups and there would be coming Hitlers after us till we were dead.  That’s when I clawed my way back to the World Between Worlds.  I was horribly sleepy and I would say it was the hardest exit I have had from a dream, I could see it wide open beneath me and trying to suck me back in, but I just hung on to a shred of consciousness until the world portal finally closed and I could return to sleep in a safe place.

On the bright side, I was not the monster this time!

STILL evil inside

Saturday morning I stabbed three different people in their guts with a large hunting knife, one of them twice.  It was all in self-defense though. And, more importantly, it was all in my dreams.

Seriously, I am not sure I would want to live with someone who repeatedly stabs people with a big knife, even in his dreams.  But I don’t really have much choice, since it is me.

And yes, it is totally like a scene out of the Hell of Strife as portrayed in Buddhism.  The people there supposedly attack each other on sight, not so much because of hate but because of fear, a fear that is of course multiplied by the actual fights they get into.  Kind of like being a gang member in an American city, I guess.  Their iron rule is: “Do unto others as they would do unto you, and do it first.”

I particularly clearly remember the last dream, in which I had a neighbor living in the same house as me who was plain crazy.  There was a religious element in his madness, or perhaps it was my religious element that made him crazy, but he was hell-bent on killing me.  Each morning (the dream lasted for several days in that realm) he would try to break into my home to kill me in my sleep.  I locked the door, I barred it, I even barricaded it at the end.  He always managed to force his way in eventually, but he also always made so much noise that I was awake and ready with my knife when he showed up.  Having been cut by it twice already, he had a healthy respect of the knife, which was why he was always trying to catch me unaware.

A very unpleasant dream, and so was the earlier one in which I stabbed those two other guys.

It bothers me, and I think rightly so, that I still have these kinds of dreams. You may have a religion in which you go to Heaven regardless of your evil character because someone has paid for your sins, but how long can you REMAIN in Heaven if you have a tendency to stab people with hunting knives? Well, presumably you would not be that badly provoked in Heaven – in fact, I have not been that badly provoked in this world since I was a teen – but it is still a rather precarious existence.

I am not blaming City of Heroes for this one, because I had these dreams before IBM even invented their Personal Computer. The feeling in that game is anyway very different.  Well, for me it is.  There seem to be those who take it personally, but for me the game is not about vengeance or even self-defense, but standing up for the innocent.  Besides, the criminals are supposedly arrested rather than killed.  However, a game like Age of Conan is unplayable to me, because it is just too reminiscent of the evil inside.  The whole atmosphere of pervasive villainy, betrayal and random attacks is like a projection of my own Hell of Strife into a virtual realm.

To think that this kind of life was the Heaven of my Viking ancestors is kind of disturbing.  I dare say they did not know true religion, but I still feel their blood in my veins in a manner of speaking.  When I was little more than a child myself, I was not dreaming these things, I was planning them in great detail. As a matter of fact, I even did make a couple stabs at my tormentors, but by some degree of divine intervention I managed to not actually hit them.  I made a hole in a school bag though, as he managed to get it in front of him. Well, those were the days.  It is more than three decades since I left that mindset behind, well in principle at least.  I wonder how long I will still be like this though…

Evil Inside.