Better and worse

The days pass,  and it gets a little easier to live with the super hemorrhoid.  And then today, a few times, something more sinister happens.  Suddenly there is a twitch of pain in the hemorrhoids, and immediately a knife-sharp pain of great magnitude stabs the FRONT of my belly, on the same side (slightly right of center), above the belt but below the thoracic diaphragm.

(Do people really say “diaphragm”?  An ordinary thing needs a more ordinary name. In Norwegian we refer to the sheet of muscle below the lungs as “mellomgolv”, middle floor or in-between floor. I can’t see people using the same word for the essential breathing muscle and a contraceptive, but then again English is a weird language spoken by weird people.)

Anyway, I survived, at least this far.  But it was out of the ordinary painful, although it only lasted for less than a second.  Instinctively I  jumped out of my current position, and the pain both here and there ceased immediately, leaving only a cold, numb echo along the front of my belly, running vaguely vertically.

Since it only happens when I sit on reasonably full bowels and since it can be felt both in front (most intensely) and behind (less so), I ass-sume it to be an effect of the rhoids. If not, I would just as well have guessed kidney sand – I have heard that sudden, extreme pain can happen when a grain is moving down through the urinary tract, which probably is somewhere around there? But that goes nowhere near the anus at any time, quite the opposite.

Anyway, the illness is still fascinating for me, although I bet it is a lot less interesting for everyone else.

Unfortunately it also means I can’t mow the lawn, and it is growing like crazy in the ever changing sun and rain of the last week.  If I have to stay off it for another week, it will be seriously hairy, and the landlord will NOT be pleased.  As if this wasn’t problematic enough to begin with. It was from mowing while weak from fever that I got this in the first place, after all.  I am not ready to risk making it even much worse by trying to mow again until reasonably healed.