Headache and happiness

If  you are overflowing with joy, you may want to restrain yourself somewhat so as to not set off people’s insanity detectors. I did not have that problem though, since I was alone at work.  But I still behaved. Of course, the headache may have helped.

I had some breathing troubles last night – not asthma type, felt more like pneumonia, but I guess it was not since there was no fever and I felt better in the morning.  But I got less sleep than I had hoped, and had a light headache during the first part of the workday.

At the same time, I was also filled with joy, thinking about my bookshelf of happiness and good things that have happened in my life.  It was a kind of weird combination, headache and happiness, and I noticed it myself.

It would probably have been different with a stronger headache, I’m afraid. I don’t think I really have achieved “permaplat” in my life, or what easterners call “Enlightenment”, the state of mind in which no event of the senses can touch the Self.  Those who have reached Enlightenment may experience pain, but not suffering, it is said.  That is to say, they may experience the senses crying out, but they do not identify with the senses but rather with the true Self. There is some disagreement about whether this is a gradual process or something that suddenly happens. I would not know.  I am pretty sure I would worry if I felt a strong pain, since this is the body’s way of telling that it is in danger.  And I don’t really feel ready to let the body go yet.  I may not feel a constant fear of death anymore, but I am surely able to feel a specific threat.

Courage is cool, but sometimes you can’t tell it from stupidity. Young people in particular take a lot of risks because they simply don’t think very far ahead. It may be less pronounced in us middle-aged types, but if you just look at how people behave, you have to wonder how far ahead they think, when they think at all.

Since I seem to be temporary back to Earth, I may mention that I bought a bread. The other day I realized that it was months since las I had eaten bread. Bread is reasonably priced as food goes, and now that my income and expenses are more balanced, that is not a bad thing. (Though I think the noodles at Joker may be cheaper.) Bread is also reasonably healthy, especially bread not made entirely from white flour. The type I bought is somewhat rougher and has sunflower seeds that add taste and texture. I liked it, though I vaguely remember another sunflower bread that was even better.

See, I am still kind of human! I have not been transposed to pure spirit by the spiritual books I have been reading. ^_^