My heart went racing out of control again this evening a bit before 20 (8PM). It went at top speed for about 5 minutes. Â Even after it returned to near normal levels, the event has left me half dazed, as if my senses are partly muted or fogged, and I am weak.
As suspected, I felt rather less assured about my eternity when actually facing it. Then again, part of that was from the fact that this all happened after I had brazenly ignored God’s plea to stop. Â (Again, for the usual values of God: I can’t claim to be a prophet who sits in the council of the Most High, only that something more concrete than a conscience is transmitting thoughts to me that seem to be of a Heavenly nature. I, however, am not of a Heavenly nature, and the contrast bothers me.)
I guess it is not a certain thing that I will have months or at least weeks to prepare for my final departure. I should bear that in mind.
As for the health side of this, my state-assigned doctor knew of a couple such racing heart episodes from 2005, I think it was, possibly one in 2006. He was not particularly worried that I would die on the spot, but rather told me to contact the clinic so they could do an EKG (ECG) while the event was unfolding. Â The tests done at other times were glowingly positive in all respects.
I would probably not have been very worried either if it was his heart. -_- But it feels kind of threatening when it is about me, the most important person in my world.