“Delighting in your company”

Delighting in your company. Sometimes it comes naturally, sometimes less so to us mortals.

I was out doing my daily walk (one hour today, 630 calories) when I listened to evergreens and the voice in my heart coming together in a peculiar confluence.

“And I have loved you for so long, delighting in your company.” -Greensleeves.

“When He prepared the heavens, I was there … and my delights were with the sons of men.” -The Wisdom, in Proverbs 8.

I have had many definitions of love through the year I have written my online journal, some of them more cynical than others. “Delighting in your company” is certainly one of the better.

And such is the nature of the love that the Divine Wisdom has for mankind, and that the Presence in my heart has for me. As it assures me, it has loved me for so long – from the very beginning –  delighting in my company. That is actually an awesome thing to feel, that effortless love. A love that feels no uncertainty, no need to be reciprocated, only – at most – to be accepted. And even if not, it remains undiminished.

The other side of the coin is of course to be like that. That is not something one can just decide and there it is. Neither is it something one can work on or strive toward in a businesslike way. At least I don’t think so. I think of it as … attuning? Aligning? Tuning in to that same frequency with which we are loved. And also memories of the past, for those who have that, but not a simple replay of circumstances. Drawing out the core, love itself.

When I say we cannot achieve this love by work, I must add that of course there are times when we need to act in a loving, compassionate way even if we don’t feel like it at the moment. If not, there are times when even a mother would throw the baby out with the bathwater. I have read about various young mothers feeling guilty because they don’t feel that super awesome love for their baby that they thought they would, and that society expects. But that feeling is intermittent – it comes and goes – and must be gathered as memorable moments who show up from time to time, to be added to what you will remember later. It is the same way with other forms of love. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you act it, not necessarily at the same time. But it builds over time.

Well, I’m not really an expert on such things. The Presence in my heart is. Hopefully I will become more like that.